Judith Rosen Counselling & Therapy

Individuals - Couples - Adolescents

Judy Talks About Men and Sexuality

There is a lot of sensationalism and mythology in our culture around sexuality.  The corporate world uses sex to sell its products in the media. The ads and films sizzle. Our cultural mythology tells us that men must always want sex to be considered men. They must be ready to perform, and be capable of performing at any given moment.
Men are demanding with themselves when it comes to sex. The standards they create for their own sexual performance are usually tough and unforgiving. They forget that they are people too, people with lives, pressures and stresses outside the bedroom. Men have sexual histories in which they have not always been loved and respected for their bodies and their sexuality. Some have been mistreated, humiliated or objectified. This affects their hearts, minds and bodies, resulting in a sexuality that is damaged, incomplete or empty.
Men don’t like to talk about their painful sexual pasts, they would rather gloss it over, acting invincible and tough.  But Viagra sales tell us that there are men out there who have erectile dysfunction. Yes, this is physical, but it is often psychologically caused, and this is frequently overlooked by the prescribing physician. In my experience, there are many causes for erectile difficulties: a deep lack of self-worth, a distrust of women and/or intimacy, an inability to let go, an overdeveloped need to control, parents who shame their sons around sexuality, or early experiences of continually containing sexuality for religious, medical or fertility reasons … the list goes on.
I have worked with men over the years helping them clear these experiences and the problems that result from them.  If your experience of sexuality is not all that you would like it to be, I can be helpful. Please phone me at 604-538-9796.